Encylopædia Draconica

So my girlfriend came to visit me these holidays, which was exciting. She said she's noticed I struggle a lot with small decisions: where to go, what to do, and whatnot. This is true. I like to overanalyze, and I constantly indulge in overanalyzing. I bargain with myself a lot. I usually want to make a perfect decision. I try to be lighter on myself but mostly it kind of just happens. It's my default mode of operation. I guess it's as designed by the manufacturer.

I don't remember teaching myself to overanalyze. Maybe this gift has been bestowed upon me by heaven itself. Maybe I must be this way because I have a mission. Maybe I gaslit myself into thinking I'm overanalyzing because I'm actually under-analyzing everything, so I should overanalyze more. I think latter is probably the case. At least that's what I usually think. So I think that anxiety is making me be this way.

I want to avoid the disaster, you see. The one that ruins your life and everything. How do you achieve this without overanalyzing? By relying on your intuition? But intuition is not a proof, so you're wrong, I'm not listening to you anymore.

I don't like opinions. Why can't I be right all the time? It's exhausting. If only there was a device that makes everything I say correct…

I don't like making mistakes. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing to say things people disagree with. Why can't you all agree with me? We seemed to get along so well… Up to the point when you opened your mouth. Ugh.

Today was long, and I'm exhausted. And I even still have things to do. I must write a paper. Papers, papers, more papers, there aren't nearly enough papers in this world. I must contribute another paper to the never-ending pile of papers our dear Science produces. This is my role, I'm a cog, and I will happily roll along. Hooray!

Now I must go. Peace be with you, dear reader. Good times are ahead, I promise.