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I cannot stand when communication is built on lies, omissions, hints, manipulations, obfuscation, devaluation, or shifting focus—when directness is not the goal but a tool; when closeness is not a bond but a trick; when one person uses another while the other believes they are loved; when openness is seen as weakness and the pursuit of openness as intrusive; when collaboration is a temporary inconvenience rather than a belief in shared effort; when unnecessary words are spoken at the most convenient times; and necessary ones are postponed for better days. When two waves collide in this way, it’s not an overlap but a decay. It’s the rusting of souls. This is mutual torment, and if someone finds profit in it and seeks it, that person deserves loneliness.
It's time to talk about Politics, and those who believed that draconica was a neutral apolitical blog with no Politics, clearly have missed my post titled Guten Tag > Besten Tag where I proposed the Sky Fish as the ultimate form of government.
Politics is ambient. Power structures, both visible and invisible, permeate societies. Given any subset of people, there exists a distribution of Power among them, where Power is synonymical to influence, authority, and dominance. In game theory, Power is measured by the Banzhaf index. Game theory considers situations in which a community of individual agents benefits or loses from the choices made by each individual. Basically any life situation is such: almost nothing is value-neutral; we don't act mindlessly, we assume that some actions benefit us and some are hurtful for our well-being. Assuming otherwise is irrational.
Actions of other individuals may or may not affect us. We're not the only contributors to our benefit/loss balance. And our own actions may affect benefits/losses of other individuals. As such, we have Preferences for our own actions and for actions of others. We may communicate these Preferences to other individuals. This observation allows us to further limit the scope of what Power is: it's the degree to which others conform to our preferences. In this sense, a king has Power over his subjects; a spoiled child has Power over her parents.
The Power is perpetually in flux. A king dies (for all kings are mortal [except for the Sky Fish who is the Eternal King of Everything Forever]), a successor inherits the crown, a new king is in place, new king has new Preferences, a balance of Powers shifts. A spoiled child is sent to a correctional boot camp to correct her Preferences so she has less Power over her parents, a balance of Powers shifts. This is Power Dynamics. People change, Preferences change, balance of Powers shifts. You cannot stop this.
But Power Dynamics can be guided. This is Politics. You have a vision of how Powers should be balanced, you guide people into fulfilling that vision. I use "guide" here very loosely, it encompasses many methods of guiding, including violent coercion or genocide among other more peaceful options. Nothing is off-limits (practically, not ethically).
At this point you may ask, "but Maria, wouldn't that mean that if a person Prefers to be a low-life oppressed individual, then by being awful they get a lot of Power?" That's a good nit-picky question. A question that guided Politics into what it becomes in its most dreadful forms. From now on, I conclude this post.
Politics is ambient. Power structures, both visible and invisible, permeate societies. Given any subset of people, there exists a distribution of Power among them, where Power is synonymical to influence, authority, and dominance. In game theory, Power is measured by the Banzhaf index. Game theory considers situations in which a community of individual agents benefits or loses from the choices made by each individual. Basically any life situation is such: almost nothing is value-neutral; we don't act mindlessly, we assume that some actions benefit us and some are hurtful for our well-being. Assuming otherwise is irrational.
Actions of other individuals may or may not affect us. We're not the only contributors to our benefit/loss balance. And our own actions may affect benefits/losses of other individuals. As such, we have Preferences for our own actions and for actions of others. We may communicate these Preferences to other individuals. This observation allows us to further limit the scope of what Power is: it's the degree to which others conform to our preferences. In this sense, a king has Power over his subjects; a spoiled child has Power over her parents.
The Power is perpetually in flux. A king dies (for all kings are mortal [except for the Sky Fish who is the Eternal King of Everything Forever]), a successor inherits the crown, a new king is in place, new king has new Preferences, a balance of Powers shifts. A spoiled child is sent to a correctional boot camp to correct her Preferences so she has less Power over her parents, a balance of Powers shifts. This is Power Dynamics. People change, Preferences change, balance of Powers shifts. You cannot stop this.
But Power Dynamics can be guided. This is Politics. You have a vision of how Powers should be balanced, you guide people into fulfilling that vision. I use "guide" here very loosely, it encompasses many methods of guiding, including violent coercion or genocide among other more peaceful options. Nothing is off-limits (practically, not ethically).
At this point you may ask, "but Maria, wouldn't that mean that if a person Prefers to be a low-life oppressed individual, then by being awful they get a lot of Power?" That's a good nit-picky question. A question that guided Politics into what it becomes in its most dreadful forms. From now on, I conclude this post.
Pain, Pain, Pain.
We live in the World of Pain. Pain inhabits this world with us, pain is our inevitable companion. It's not gonna be a fluffy post with a happy ending, so be warned, consider if it's worth your time.
We usually differentiate physical and emotional pain. But emotions are physical, so it's not two different kinds of pain, but really two different sources of pain: from physical wounds or from psychological "wounds". The latter is the metaphor arising from the former, because metaphors allow us to speak of what is not physical. It's like we speak about seas on the Moon's surface, even though there's no water on the Moon. Wounds may be physical, but the pain is not, the pain is a phenomenon of perception. Pain is a measure of suffering that soul gets to experience, for how could one suffer if there was no pain?
The pain has a point to make, that something is damaged, either body or soul, or is so strained it's about to be damaged. Soul, like body, can be damaged, it can be twisted in such a way that it becomes the source of suffering itself, it produces pain, once again metaphorically we call this a trauma. So the pain is a feeling of damage, the evidence of damage.
We speak of pain as an unpleasant sensation, but isn't pain sometimes pleasant, dear reader? Have you ever enjoyed suffering to the degree where you submerge into the pain so deeply that it's uncomfortable to get out of it? I surely have, I'm a masochist of sorts, able to derive satisfaction from all kinds of pain, if it's bearable. As an unfortunate byproduct, this makes me sometimes enjoy the pain inflicted on others, it drives my aggression and it drives my desire to hurt people. Do you have such a desire, dear reader? I'm inclined to believe we all have a dark side, though you are free to believe whatever you wish. Maybe you're a pure and undamaged creature. Me, I'm damaged and filthy, so there you have it.
Maybe it's time we stop talking about pain. My own pain has dissipated since I began writing, so I guess I should post and distract myself somehow. Take care of yourself, dear reader.
We live in the World of Pain. Pain inhabits this world with us, pain is our inevitable companion. It's not gonna be a fluffy post with a happy ending, so be warned, consider if it's worth your time.
We usually differentiate physical and emotional pain. But emotions are physical, so it's not two different kinds of pain, but really two different sources of pain: from physical wounds or from psychological "wounds". The latter is the metaphor arising from the former, because metaphors allow us to speak of what is not physical. It's like we speak about seas on the Moon's surface, even though there's no water on the Moon. Wounds may be physical, but the pain is not, the pain is a phenomenon of perception. Pain is a measure of suffering that soul gets to experience, for how could one suffer if there was no pain?
The pain has a point to make, that something is damaged, either body or soul, or is so strained it's about to be damaged. Soul, like body, can be damaged, it can be twisted in such a way that it becomes the source of suffering itself, it produces pain, once again metaphorically we call this a trauma. So the pain is a feeling of damage, the evidence of damage.
We speak of pain as an unpleasant sensation, but isn't pain sometimes pleasant, dear reader? Have you ever enjoyed suffering to the degree where you submerge into the pain so deeply that it's uncomfortable to get out of it? I surely have, I'm a masochist of sorts, able to derive satisfaction from all kinds of pain, if it's bearable. As an unfortunate byproduct, this makes me sometimes enjoy the pain inflicted on others, it drives my aggression and it drives my desire to hurt people. Do you have such a desire, dear reader? I'm inclined to believe we all have a dark side, though you are free to believe whatever you wish. Maybe you're a pure and undamaged creature. Me, I'm damaged and filthy, so there you have it.
Maybe it's time we stop talking about pain. My own pain has dissipated since I began writing, so I guess I should post and distract myself somehow. Take care of yourself, dear reader.
I cannot do anything, dear reader, so I'm writing a blog.
Some people write a blog because they promised themselves "I will post a blog entry every week and it will make me such and such a person". That's a cool promise, keep going, pals. Maybe one day you will become the such and such a person. Will you keep blogging when that happens?
Some people write a blog because they're paid to. Like, they drive a corporate blog. Or they aren't even getting paid, maybe they have a passion project and the blog is an outlet for updates, and an inlet for the audience to say "Congrats! Keep going, pal."
I usually write a blog because I'm very tired, and I need to unwind, and writing is relaxing, and writing in a personal journal just doesn't feel the same way as writing a blog. When I publish a blog entry, a URL is created for me that I can share with my friends, or maybe someone could leave a comment, or maybe a dear reader would simply skim over some sentences and leave unfazed. It's like talking in a cafe but very loudly, not in a private conversation voice.
I don't usually share URLs to my blogs with my friends. I don't have too many friends, and of these friends I don't want too many of them to know I'm blogging. I'm not blogging for my friends. I'm not even blogging for you, dear reader. I love you dearly, but I don't care about you. I care about me. More than any other person.
I'm very tired, and I cannot do anything, even flatter my dear reader to make them feel special. I don't feel special, why should you?
Sorry for the apparent hostility.
Some people write a blog because they promised themselves "I will post a blog entry every week and it will make me such and such a person". That's a cool promise, keep going, pals. Maybe one day you will become the such and such a person. Will you keep blogging when that happens?
Some people write a blog because they're paid to. Like, they drive a corporate blog. Or they aren't even getting paid, maybe they have a passion project and the blog is an outlet for updates, and an inlet for the audience to say "Congrats! Keep going, pal."
I usually write a blog because I'm very tired, and I need to unwind, and writing is relaxing, and writing in a personal journal just doesn't feel the same way as writing a blog. When I publish a blog entry, a URL is created for me that I can share with my friends, or maybe someone could leave a comment, or maybe a dear reader would simply skim over some sentences and leave unfazed. It's like talking in a cafe but very loudly, not in a private conversation voice.
I don't usually share URLs to my blogs with my friends. I don't have too many friends, and of these friends I don't want too many of them to know I'm blogging. I'm not blogging for my friends. I'm not even blogging for you, dear reader. I love you dearly, but I don't care about you. I care about me. More than any other person.
I'm very tired, and I cannot do anything, even flatter my dear reader to make them feel special. I don't feel special, why should you?
Sorry for the apparent hostility.
Combat Drive
Jul. 21st, 2025 02:54 pmForever unfit to be living
Uneven columns of those who have never been born
A deadly oath to fight I'm giving
Since Jesus Christ innocents were no more!
Oh my faceless companion,
I must say I dig
Your drive to prey
Your drive to steal
Your drive to break
Your drive to kill
Egor Letov
